You may have read it in the intro, but my journey with clothes really started over 2 years ago after watching a documentary called ‘The Trust Cost’. It made me re-question a lot of the things I was buying; who had made my clothes? Was I buying on impulse? What effects were my purchases causing to people and the planet? I’d already bought a lot of second hand clothes at that time, but the 20% of clothes I did buy new were from Zara mainly, and though hard, I decided the night of watching that movie that I would never shop there again. Dramatic I know.

Let’s say my level of makeup knowledge is so so basic. I have no idea how to successfully achieve a smoky eye or contour, and as it stands I’ve probably worn makeup for all of one day during lockdown and it’s never felt better so please don’t take makeup advice from me- i’m very much learning.

Makeup was one of the last areas of our home to move over to becoming cleaner. Maybe it’s because makeup is low on my agenda list anyway but, as I’ve switched to green beauty I’ve come to take more of an interest in it and really become excited and curious about what’s in the makeup I’m using and the fun and quirky ingredients that often make up green beauty!

When it comes to having babies there is a lot of information thrown around and a lot of product suggestions too. Many brands sell many things making many claims and usually at an increased cost. There is often a-lot of unnecessary ingredients in those products and just because it says ‘baby’ on it doesn’t even necessarily mean it’s safe.

I remember seeing Heppy’s newborn skin and feeling such a responsibility to treat it well, and govern well what passed into it! It felt so pure and untainted- so that’s what I committed to do; to do my research to make sure I could look after it, and in turn teach her how to too.

An article in the Guardian stated that: “American women use an average of 12 products a day – nearly 200 chemicals – according to a 2004 study by the Environmental Working Group (EWG).” I can’t imagine that’s much different for us here in the UK... scary huh? These chemicals are not needed when there are so many products that are as good, even better available, and don’t contain them. Plus, many of these are often cheaper too, containing less plastic, and can be made with things you can already find in your home!

Is there a room in your house that you dislike cleaning the most? The bathroom is probably high up there on mine as it feels like so many things are begging to be deep cleaned in such a small space?! The bathroom was hands down the area we used the most plastic in and probably the most amount of chemicals in before we started this toxic-free journey.

I’ve trialed the lot when it comes to washing powder; throwback to the days of Fairy and Ariel giving me crispy whites and super soft towels and then with the realisation of those particular things probably actually causing harm then moving on to soap nuts and an eco egg to no avail. I so wanted these options to work for me, but with a newborn at the time, they just weren’t cutting it and left my clothes coming out of the washing machine no different to what I had put them in. I then moved onto Ecover for a season, and while I think it is a better option than many, it still didn’t sit quite right with me and neither did SMOL a subscription service we received through our door, which coincided with a bad outbreak of eczema on Heppy’s skin and made me look even more closely into what was written on the back of bottles.

We live in a cottage in the West Sussex countryside and while I wouldn’t say our house is clean or even in any particular order, I can’t seem to rest until the washing up is done or sleep until the surfaces are somewhat clean.

The kitchen is probably the place where people find the majority of their cleaning products. One thing I’ve learnt in this process is shops are selling a lot of things! There’s a cleaner for your counters, and your sink, and greasy surfaces and sticky surfaces and scummy sinks and products to clean your bin and clean your dishwasher. The result of seeing so many products on shelves is that it makes us believe we need a new product for every single different area in our homes.

I have wanted to get something down in writing for months now because I’ve read too many books and articles and seen too many documentaries to believe that living a toxic-free life and having a home that is chemical free is just a fad; only for the crunchiest of mama’s out there, or for those who have got the money to pay for the ‘fancy’ products. I truly believe for our health, our families and for our environment we don’t have a choice but to live one. So, the next 7 days is a snapshot into our home, a glimpse to the products we use, and the products we make.

Back in mid- April just before Hephzibah’s second birthday it suddenly crossed my mind that lockdown was the perfect place to potty train.

Hephzibah had shown zero signs that she was ready to potty train. She hated having her nappy changed, seemed unaware of when she needed a poo or wee and would have happily hung out in a diaper with either of those in all day!

6 weeks into lockdown I committed to the thought that was flying around my head to start potty training Hephzibah. There had been no real signs that she was ready to potty train I just thought it would be worth a shot because we were at home all day with no where to go and liked the idea that there was very low-expectation so we could just see how it went.

On the 28th of April, a week before Hephzibah’s due date, at around 3/4am in the morning, I remember getting up multiple times to go to the toilet in a little bit of discomfort. It hadn’t really crossed my mind that I was in labour as I had no idea what contractions should, or would feel like, and at the time I thought they were probably just braxton hicks.

Elvie pride themselves on bringing women’s technology out of the dark ages, wanting to improve women’s lives through smarter technology. Elvie is only their second product so far, standing alongside a Kegel trainer, that helps women to improve their pelvic floor. Earlier last month they released their new silent hassle free breast pump and everything kicked off!

I’d NEVER even considered it wouldn’t be an option to breast feed. I skipped the free breast feeding classes, and, wanting a breast reduction all throughout my upper school years to lighten the load, didn’t go any further with it only because there was a possibility that the operation could have meant I wouldn’t be able to breastfeed.

I remember sat on the floor of our bedroom crying, confused how I would ever make pumping work whilst also dealing with this deep grief I felt at the reality that it was seeming less and less likely that she would begin to breastfeed from me again however much I was believing she would.

We don’t need political answers or opinions. We need to displace what seems to be taking dominion, sowing love instead of hatred, and peace instead of confusion. For what you sow YOU will reap, and I want to reap a harvest of plenty, love, peace, joy and healing. 

So often though, we as children flounder and falter away from the place where our safety and security is truly found. We attempt to build our own protection, lying beneath man made coverings, fighting self-evoked wars and retreating back inside our ever increasing walls of fortress.

The truth is, if you put God in a box He’s not gonna be there, because He can’t be put in one. The Holy Spirit blows where He pleases and not according to where we want Him to blow. What if God was waiting for you to hear what you’d never known before, what if the Holy Spirit, who has too often been shelved, disregarded and silenced, is the new thing He’s been waiting to speak.

What if, what if God really did want us to celebrate ourselves? What if He called us righteous and lovely, because He wanted us to see it in ourselves too? To celebrate rather than deny, and offer up rather than shy away. What if, by celebrating our gifting and who we are, we actually brought glory to the one who placed it within us.